Aldus Maycombe has inherited a largely useless magical talent from his great-grandmother; a rather-too-fitting family name from his father; and, most recently, a job from his uncle. He has a tendency to ramble, and is often confusing, in the manner of a man who forgets that no one can read minds. He not-so-secretly loves pulp fiction, particularly the gothic horror variety.

A slightly off-kilter fairy(?) who collects stories and allegedly murders mediocre storytellers. We don't know his name, his age, or whether he's ever actually succeeded in killing anyone, but he knows how to handle a knife. Mr. Pépin - a talkative bird - is his only friend, which may explain his social awkwardness. He's sworn painful and complicated revenge on Aldus after the loss of his home, in spite of the fact that the fire was largely his own fault.

To be fair, we don't know whether this woman is, in fact, a prostitute. She has, however, spent the past story arc with makeup running down her cheeks, something a woman of virtue would hardly do. She doesn't seem to like Aldus very much, but then, she's rather gruff with her own son.

John, also known as "The Dog Boy", enjoys acting like one of those horrid little terriers that old women dress up and carry in hand-baskets. He's surprisingly agile and has taken several characters by surprise.